My Doctor
by Doctor.Super.White.Lock.Ifer
Summary: The Doctors companion Lexie helps him through Self Harm. Warning: Self Harm


**(Still procrastinating the other one) Also do what ever Doctor you feel it best describes but I'm using he/his pronouns. Also might do a Reader insert later on even though it's against the rules but I just sorta wanna do one but maybe not we'll see.**

After another long few days without sleep and plenty of running and fighting The Doctor and his companion Lexie were exhausted and especially The Doctor since they had been dealing with some alien that got into your brain and showed all the bad things you have done and brought guilt up to try and destroy you or get you to kill yourself.

_Hey I know that the whatever you called it showe is some things back there and I was wondering if you were alright, _Lexie worried about him because she knew about his history with self-harm because he thought he was the big bad wolf.

_Oh no I'm fine really, _The Doctor have a childish grin and was pushing some buttons on his TARDIS, _How about you?_

_I'm okay, _Lexie gave him a suspicious look but then yawned and turned away, _I'm going to bed but, _She turned back towards him then away again after she said, _If you ever feel the urge to... you know please don't hesitate to wake me up. And I mean it I don't care if you feel like your pride will be gone, I just don't want you gone. So promise me you will talk to me._

_I promise alright now get some sleep, _The Doctor was trying not to act as terrible as he felt at that moment and time.

_Okay thank you, _Lexie turned and went to bed.

The Doctor decided he needed sleep too. So he went to his own bedroom and laid down. But as soon as he closed his eyes he could hear them. He could see everything. His planet, all of his companions that had... gone. All of the people that were hurt or killed or died on his behalf. His eyes bolted open as almost as quickly as they closed. He felt it. The pain that came along with every death and every little part of his heart that broke every time something happened.

He looked over at the blade that sat hiding away from his view from the last time he tried to stay clean. But then he remembered what Lexie had said. He didn't want her to think of him as weak though. Also she needed the sleep from the pain that the aliens had brought her as well. So he walked over and grabbed it and turned a lamp on. He thought about it for a minute before the burning tears pricked at his eyes in warning. He dropped it and opened his door and soon without thinking he was at Lexie's door and he wiped his face then knocked.

She opened straight away almost as if she'd been waiting, _Come here hon, _She pulled him in a hug from seeing him staring at the ground fiddling with his fingers with tears slowly coming down his face and falling on the ground.

_I'm sorry if I woke you I just-, _She had cut him off.

_No! Don't say that I don't and will never mind I'm just glad you came to me, _She pulled away, still grabbing his shoulders, to look him in the eyes, or at least try to, _Doctor I love you and I will always, no matter what make time for you when you need me._

_I almost didn't, _The Doctor looked towards her, but not at her.

_What do you mean? _She dropped her hand but was still close in case she needed to grab him in a hug again.

_I almost let you stay asleep and harmed myself instead, but I didn't want to hurt you anymore. I really am sorry I didn't mean to but I grabbed the blade and-, _Once again Lexie stopped him and grabbed his hands.

_Listen buddy I am so proud of you right now! You did the one thing that you needed to. I mean you should be proud of yourself because you sir just made a huge step, _She smiled wide and hugged him tight hoping it helped him. Which it did, tremendously I might add. He smiled for a first time in a while. At least a real one.

_Now, _Lexie pulled away fully this time showing The Doctor she was serious. She pulled him into her room and they sat down in the comfortable chairs in the room, _Back to what needs to be said that I know you don't want to talk about. What made you want to? I mean really I need to help you._

_I don't know._

_Oh shut up won't you? You know exactly what the hell is going on and I want you to tell me or else I can't help you, and if I can't help you then there is no point in me being here is there?_

_No, _The Doctor was super quiet because he was still debating whether or not he should tell her the truth. But he couldn't bare to see her gone so he did, _I just listened to the things and I shouldn't have. I mean they messed me up really bad, _The Doctor sniffled then started to scratch himself more deeply and more then an average Time Lord should thinking about this.

_Hey buddy stop it before I cut your fingers off, _She snapped at him and grinned then gave a serious look again awaiting him to continue after stopping.

_I'm sorry I just, _The Doctor had a tear fall down his face then he wiped it and gave a deep breath before continuing, _I just should've listened to you about how I am actually, important._

_And I'll always come to you if you come to me. Deal?_

_Deal! The Doctor gave a smile through his tears._


End file.
